A No Bullshit Guide to Surviving Holiday Travel
Well well well, let me guess. You’re taking your kids to the in-law’s? Better yet you’re traveling WITH your in-laws? Going solo to your parent’s? Just gotta get out of town? Gotta hang with the grandparents like your parents have been bugging you to do for 2 years… You could be hitting the road (errrr sky) for a thousand reasons so here’s a few tips and tricks from your friendly neighborhood flight attendant that might help you get through the next couple of weeks and BEYOND.
First things first- I hate to be the one to break it to ya, but you don’t need that much shit. You’re going for like 3 days? Leave that one weird thing you thought you might want to wear but will prob end up sitting in your suitcase and you’ll more than likely wear the same two (okay, one) outfit all weekend **this also goes for all other travelers- not just families**. Also, you don’t need THAT many socks. Maybe your baby needs that many socks. For some reason I imagine babies go through a lot of socks… Fact check me here, people.
Check your freaking car seat at the god damned gate. Unless your baby ONLY sleeps in the car seat OR the flight is over 2 hours, I promise that it’s not worth the hassle. Honestly.
If you’re a parent and you are trying to bring MORE than ONE diaper bag- CHECK THAT SHIT. Your baby, infant, small child really doesn’t need all that. You’re doing yourself a favor so you don’t have you drag it all out of the airport and it’s less to lose. Usually you can check it at the gate for free too. You’re welcome.
DON’T ask the flight attendants for milk. Just don’t. If you need it, bring it. They can test it at security. Don’t be those parents.
Babies cry. Anyone crying about a crying baby can get lost. Don’t give the passengers treats because the human the you took 9 months to grow INSIDE YOU does HUMAN things.
We see you. We know you’re anxious that your baby might cry. Let us know how we can help you. Need some snacks during boarding? Need water for their formula? Need an extra vodka? We don’t want your baby to cry (or you) so we will help keep the situation as calm as possible.
Traveling with your in-laws:
Why on earth are you traveling with your in-laws?
Drink some more
Not a drinker? Eating is a pretty good substitute, I find.
In-laws aren’t awful to travel with? Drink and be merry! Better yet, help the mom with screaming children or the dad with all 80 of their bags before he knocks someone out going down the aisle. It’s Christmas, bitches. Help alleviate someone else’s stresses. And then buy those parents a drink. Trust me here.
Traveling alone and you’re an anxious flyer:
Tell the gate agent
Tell the flight attendant
Let us know what we can do to make you more comfortable, we’ll try to make sure you’re doing okay. We get it. We see it all the time. We want you to feel safe.
You know the drill by now! Have a drink, but only like one— MAYBE 2 MAX—we don’t want a situation here!!
Traveling alone and love to fly:
Are you feeling chatty?
Does your seat neighbor have earbuds in?
If they do not- drop the “where ya headed?” conversation starter and if they ask back keep the convo going ONLY IF IT FEELS OKAY TO.
If earbuds are in or they don’t try to engage in your convo have a drink. Listen to some downloaded podcasts or music. Mind ya business.
Know what’s weird? Flight attendants are humans too (gasp! I know!!) And they’re spending time away from their families to help you get you to yours, safely. There’s a lot of new reserve flight attendants getting screwed over to work trips on holidays that they don’t want to (cuz someone else called out from their trip- this is a whole other blog).
Bring us treats!!! We never don’t appreciate treats- Also this is mild bribery for free drinks (we’re not dumb and we can be generous) BE NICE TO US.
Some goodie ideas:
bag of chocolates from the airport shops
dollar store movie theater boxes of candy- those dollar things like Mike n Ike’s or Smarties
More of a baller move but if you can afford $5 gift cards for each crew member (most of the domestic planes have 4-6 crew memebers. You can find out what kind of aircraft you’ll be on by looking at Flight Aware. And find out how many seats are on the plane. Every 50 people needs 1 flight attendant) Don’t forget the flight crew <3
I’ve heard of people giving those Bath & Body hand sanitizers (pro tip: we also love those little scent spray things to spray down smelly lavatories) and crew memebers loving them.
BE NICE TO THE GATE AGENTS THEY’RE DOING THEIR BEST. Bring them treats too!
...Just don’t bring homemade or opened things cuz we’re not really allowed to eat that...
That’s my friendly neighborhood two cents ✨I hope y’all have a wonderful, safe and happy holiday season! Safe travels!!
And remember!! You can never be too early to the airport xo